Unsafe.

Just a few weeks ago, a friend of a friend was shot to death after he was held-up by an unknown man. The 'hold-uper' forced to get the laptop then when the victim tried to fight back, the 'hold-uper' shot him. And take note, this happened near La Tienda, a convenience store near our house! Imagine.

Last week, a friend told me that a Paulinian was shot too, it wasn't "hold-up", it's even worse, mistaken identity daw.

And last night, a Sillimanian was victimized. The victim was in Cafe Noriter and the 'hold-uper' just went to their table and focused a gun on them secretively. The victim was forced to give the laptop to the 'hold-uper', then the suspects left quietly. The whole 'hold-up' scene was so discreet that the people sitting on the next table didn't even notice!

While there was a commotion at Cafe Noriter, another Sillimanian was stabbed with an ice pick right in front of our school's chapel, Chapel of the Evangel. The attackers forced the victim to give them his cellphone but the victim refused and tried to fight back, that's why he was stabbed twice.

OMFG. I couldn't believe how unsafe Dumaguete is nowadays. So people, be more careful this time. It isn't safe walking around alone anymore. And even if you're with your friends, be careful still. No one is exempted to be a victim!

Tss.

I was on my bed, getting ready to sleep, when I saw my phone's [the one with a Globe line] light blinking. My phone is always in silent mode. Pa missed call? I asked myself. But the lights were continually blinking. So I grabbed it and answered the call.

These past few weeks, I felt I was the most stupid person in the whole universe because, again, I've fallen. I was bitten by the bug and I broke the promise I made to myself. Gawd! I was about to surrender, but I decided to give it one more chance. I was giving myself the benefit of the doubt, because who knows? Maybe, just maybe, this might work out this time. But I told myself not to give in too much, I do not want to end up wining for the same reason again. I didn’t want my traitorous thoughts to fall prey to the foolishness of my heart.

The 20-minute call was all I needed just for me to feel that I am still loved. Honestly, these past few weeks were the most hanging weeks I've ever had. I didn't know what to do, where to go, what to say, either to cry or just go on with my life. But I am relieved now - relieved from the thought that this might not work out, again. I know nothing official is going on, but for you to make an extra effort on everything... I just feel so blessed and thankful. No one is in a hurry, so let's take our time.

Thank you. This is the first time that I effortlessly involve myself on something I've always wanted. I don't deserve you, I know that. But thank you for moving heaven and earth just to prove to me that you're not way out of my league after all.

♥♥♥ Thank you, terriyaki boy.. Thank you for making me feel that I am still alive.. ♥♥♥

Bored.

1. Call me - Kaakaams
2. What color of pants are you wearing right now? - Gray.
3. What Are You Listening To Right Now? - "Meri Lewa". I'm lovin' it!
4. What Was The Last Thing You Ate? - Devil Spam. Yum!
5. Do You Believe In Karma? - Yes. What goes up comes around, 'di ba?
6. If You Were A Crayon, what color would you be?- Poople. Nyak!
7. How Is The Weather Right Now?- Cloudy.
8. Last Person You Talked To On The Phone? -My TERRIYAKI BOY. LD from UK. Come home na!
9. Do You Like The Person Who Sent You This? - No one sent me this. Got this from a friend's blog. Sssshhhh.
10. How Are You Today? - Payn.
11. Favorite Drink? - Haha. Iced tea would be fine.
12. Favorite Alcoholic Drink? - Flambe.
13. Favorite Sports - Basketball.
14. Hair Color? - Wild pink. Haha. Seriously, black!
15. Eye Color? - Black.
16. Favorite Band? - I do not have a fave.
17. Favorite Actor & Actress? - Me. Haha.
18. Favorite Months?- Summer months! April and May. December too.
19. Favorite Food?- Japanese. Gutom ko!
20. Last Movie You Watched? - Horror movie. Forgot the title eh.
21. Favorite Day of the Year? - December 32. Haha. I do not have a favorite day. Tss.
23. What Was Your Favorite Toy As A Child? - I couldn't remember! Poor memory.
24. Summer or Winter?- Winter sa freezer. Haha.
25. Hugs Or Kisses? - Both.
26. Chocolate Or Vanilla? - Vanilla.
27. What Is Under Your Bed? - Boogyman. Haha. Scare me!
28. Friend You Have Had The Longest? - Longest what? Tss.
29. What Did You Do Yesterday? - Went to Bam's place, then watched a dance competition with my friends.
30. Favorite Smells? - Infinite pleasures. But I couldn't find any anymore!
31. Who Inspires You? - Who need inspiration?
32. What Are You Afraid Of? - Being alone.
33. Plain, Buttered Or Salted Popcorn? - Extra butter.
34. Favorite Flower? - Blue rose. Because I haven't seen one yet. Haha!
35. Number Of Keys On Your Key Ring? - I do not have one.
36. Favorite Days Of The Week? - Saturday.

**********

1. 1st time you tried smoking:-- Smoken' Deickens. LOL.
2. 1st alcoholic drink you had:-- Rhum? Or beer, I think. Ewan.
3. 1st time you entered a bar:-- Grade school, I think. It was my cousin's birthday party.
4. 1st award you received:-- Kinder days. Most Outstanding Chuvaness.
5. 1st hero:-- Aladdin. Haha. Fnck.
6. 1st time you were sent to the principal fordisciplinary actions:-- Tss. High School days.
7. 1st goal you accomplished:-- Ewan.
8. 1st crush?-- The Backstreet Boys!
9. 1st person whom you gave flowers:-- Mom.
10.1st friend:-- Define friend. =)
11.1st kiss:-- Parents. Well unless the doctor kissed me right after I was born!
12. 1st record you bought:--Backstreet Boys.
13. 1st song you sang infront of many people:-- Never tried singing in front of a large crowd. Swear!
14. first musical instrument you learned to play:-- Piano.
15. 1st local&foreign concert you watched:-- I do not remember anymore. Honestly.
16. 1st celebrity you saw in person:-- Haha. Richard Gomez. T'was a very funny experience! Tss.
17. 1st TV show you really liked:-- Basta cartoons.
18.1st buk u bought:-- Sweet Valley High.
19. 1st sport you played:-- Chess. Elementary days.
20. 1st sleepover:-- Cousin's house.
21. 1st terrible fight:-- Haha. With a classmate in elementary. As in cat fight!
22. 1st inaanak (first godchild?):-- Gia. Then Gio. Kewl!
23. 1st debut party you attended:-- Ate Kim's, I think.
24. 1st bestfriend/s-- Define bestfriend.
25. 1st wedding you attended:-- Tss. Forgot na.
26. 1st person who greeted you on your last bday:-- Terriyaki Boy.
27. 1st friend in friendster:-- Jezar! She made my account eh.
28. 1st cellphone:-- 6150.
29. 1st cellphone ringtone:-- Fnck. I don't remember anymore. It was like 9 years ago noh!
30. 1st collection:-- Anything purple.
31. 1st tym u saw a ghost?-- Never!
32. 1st rollercoaster ride?-- As in the real roller coaster? Ocean Park [HK] last 2006.
33. 1st ambition:-- Physical Therapist. I do not know why!
34.1st thing u will buy w/ ur 1st salary?-- I bought a domain.
35.why are u answering this?-- Because I'm effing bored.
36.anything u want to tell yourself?-- Go get some sleep!

Just got home.

Today was hella crazy! Seriously. Me and my friends ended up watching this [very] lame dance competition at the Macias Sports Complex. Tss. How stupid can I be in choosing to watch a lame dance competition than to watch the play "Love Letters" at the Luce Auditorium?! I hate me.

After I had my lunch this noon, I went to school to meet up with my friends. Then went to Bam's place to eat. Haha. No really, my friends made their assignment there and I went with them to eat. Haha. I'm not part of their class, okay. So in short, pakaps lang ko. =)

After Bam's place, went back to school to meet up with Wynne. Then we ate dinner together at Foodnet. Free plugging! Haha. I was craving for lechon, but I ended up eating another dish. Tss.

Then we all went to the Sports Complex after dining. It was stated in our 20-peso-ticket that the show starts at 8PM. It was already 7+ and the door is still close. We saw some people starting to make a line, so we lined up too. After standing in line for about 2 hours [Believe it!], finally, they started letting people in. And so we got in. Sneaked in to the red seats [Thanks to Neel's friend!], hoping that we could get a better view. Haha. After all the "honorable's speeches", the show started. 12 contingents, with a maximum of 5 minutes per contingent. Most of them were lame. [Haha! Sorry.] Laid my bet on 3 teams: [1]Tight Beat, [2]The Beginners, and [3]The Star Dancers. [I'm not sure with the spelling!] They all got in the top 3. Yeah.

Then Gail, Yana, Emmie, En-En, Wynne, and Neel sent me home. Haha. Thanks guys! I know you love me. Ack. Haha. =)

This pic is kinda creepy, but I'm posting it anyway. I love how big my eye looked. LOL.

Remembering on how addicted I am to Gossip Girl. I ♥ you, Archibald. Haha. Okay. Drop it!

Tomorrow's Sunday. I still do not have plans, but I think we'll meet at Jeca's place. Haha. Labo. Oh, we also do not have a class on Monday. Yesss! I love it! I won't get to see you, whore. Haha. You'll miss me, for sure. Nyak. Okay, stop na.



♥♥♥ She gets the top bunk, I'm sleeping on the floor..
She's Miss America, and I'm just the girl next door.. ♥♥♥

Just got in.

My cousin, Kim, and my friend, Markee, passed the December 2007 Nursing Licensure Exam! Yeah! Congrats Dudepares! I knew you'd make it.

Oi. R.N. na mo! I can't believe you're now professionals! Ack!

Love you both! I'm super kaduper camolé proud of you guys!

Politics. Politika. Tss.

This may look like a very very long post, but actually, it's not so READ. Pretty please with a cherry on top. *Blink*Blink*
[with matching 'beautiful eyes']

One summer, back when I didn't know that booger isn't a food, my Lolo sang to me a jingle over and over again until I memorized the fancy jingle he composed. Then he got his tape recorder and recorded my hideous voice singing the jingle he taught me. "♪♪♪Danding Cojuanco, ang Lolo namin. Danding Danding, maaasahan♪♪♪" Blah. Blah. Blah. Everyone gave their loudest clap, and in such a very young age, I thought I was a superstar. =)

Then a few summers later, he asked me and my cousins to come up with a dance number. The famous tune was 'Macarena' that time. Then, he presented us to a large crowd [and I mean LARGE] and there, we danced as if we popularized the dance craze. And everyone in the audience applauded as if we were celebrities in our sleepy town.

It was summer of 1998 [when I already knew that boogers should be rolled in circles with my fore finger and thumb then slowly wipe it under the chair] that I realized that our family is not ordinary. I found tons of banners, flyers, pamphlets, pins, and shirts with my Lola's and Auntie's face on them. What the hell is happening here, I thought.

Then my Mom explained to me that my Lola was running for a local political position and so is my Aunt too. Okay. At Grade 3, I had no idea what the hell my Mom was talking about. All I cared about that time was that everyday, we always had lechon for lunch and dinner because we had a lot [and I mean A LOT] of unexpected visitors.

Summer of 2001, I was about to enter high school then, same thing is happening in our house. People are busy printing shirts, cutting out flyers, etc. And that time, it was already my Lola's, my Tita's, and my Tito's faces on the shirts. Okay, I said to myself, I guess it's election again.

Summer of 2004, I was on my way to my senior year in high school, same thing mehn. Same thing. It's elections again and... WAIT! Ahah! The dance number I and my cousins presented was during a 'Meeting de Avance'. Tss. How come I didn't know that before. Tss.

Then, the year 2007, [when I already knew that boogers are dried nasal mucus] that I realized that our family is extraordinary. [Well, not superheroes though. Haha.]

I must say, I grew up in a family of politicians. From my great-great-grandfather, to the fourth generation of our family [or maybe the fifth, eh?], our family has this thing for politics. From the senate, down to the congress, down to the provincial positions, down to the municipal positions, our family has established a good image in the Philippine politics. According to my Tita's speech during her May 2007 campaign, [allow me to quote]:

"My family has been serving the people for over a hundred years now and I will not allow myself to stain our family name because my fore fathers gave their best for greedy people not to destroy our good image in the politics' scene."

And truly, our family always had the eagerness to serve the people and be trusted by the people.

But May 2007 elections was the most tragic elections our family has encountered. My Lola, Tita, and Tito lost. I hated the townspeople for not being greatful for everything our family has done for them. But stories of cheating were roaming around the town and then I realized how dirty politics is.

But my Mom, who then thought that politics is just a headache, ran for a local barangay position last October 2007. Yes, it was a big shock for everyone since my Mom never indulged herself in any political matters, because if there's one member of the family who do not have this so-called "politiko ug batasan", then that would be my Mom. Although she was aware about it, my Mom still ran because she wanted to prove that somehow, the people still trusts us - our family. And yes, she won with approximately 500 votes more than her opponent's, with out cheating. =)

And today [that I am very much aware of how dirty politics can be], I stand by the words of Jun Lozada. I strongly believe in him and in his stories. I think he is credible enough for the public to believe in every single detail of his stories. And with everything that's going on today, I realized that I wasted my votes on some senators who could not even ask appropriate questions during the Senate's hearing about Jun Lozada's kidnapping case.

And another thing, you're going down MALACAÑANG!! Down down down.

Don't you guys think Jun Lozada is cute when he cries? Nyahaha! I'm willing to dance the Macarena just to air my grievances or even record a fancy jingle! I believe in you, Jun Lozada.

You, Jun Lozada, you! You you yoooooouuuuuuuu! Okay stop.


.

Scream.

I have been searching for the right words to summarize everything I am feeling right now. Considering everything that I've been going through these past few days, numbness is in me again. I am very much aware that I am not the person I was a month ago. I have changed. Why? I do not even know why.

Last night, just before I went to sleep, a thought came across my mind. I was a better person before, when inspirations were all over me. Everyday seemed to be a big surprise for me. I couldn't get more excited each day. But lately, just before I go to sleep, I wish I'd never wake up the next morning anymore. Life's not giving me a reason to live anymore - or so I thought. And reality check: I AM STILL ALIVE.

But I realize that I am not the only one who changed. Everything around me is different now. Some changed for the better and some, just like me, changed for the worse. And honestly, I can not go any worse than this anymore! This is enough. Meaning, I am sick and tired of dealing craps in this whirl pin world.

If I decide to end my precious life right here, it would be utterly unfair for the people who have been on my side since I-can't-remember-when. Well aside from the fact that it would be a very selfish act, it is also plain stupidity. Allow me to quote my great friend, Earl:

"Inflicting pain to one's self is simply a sign of immaturity.."

If there is one thing that I can not accept to myself until now, then that would be the mere fact that I am the most immature nineteen-year-old that I know. So as much as possible, I try to fight every crap that would prove my immaturity. Hell no! I am not immature.

I'm getting weaker everyday. I am already having a hard time fighting my everyday battles. But the only thing that keeps me breathing [at least], is that I know that I AM LOVED. Though not as much as the people who loved me before, but nonetheless, I am still loved.

People still see me as the bubbly and strong person that they know. But when I am alone, I cry, because I know that I have been faking my smiles and all the while, I have been pretending. I used to be good in pretending but maybe masks peel off too. I can not wait until I only have my hands to cover my face. MY MASK IS PEELING OFF. I need to be strong..

♥♥♥ Stay.. ♥♥♥

Shameless Post.

Yeah, so I went to our Student's Night last Wednesday. I told you I'd be going. Ugh. I just hate myself for my decision swings! As a matter of fact, I suck in making decisions. I suuuucccccck! Okay, enough.

The party was held at Club El Camino. I do not know exactly what time the program started because I was late. As usual. What else is new anyway? So as soon as I arrived, I joined my classmates on their table. The 'awarding' was fun because I won myself two awards. A shameful one and the other one is for my friends. FUN FUN FUN FCUK.

And the effing statistics show that...

51% of the total votes or the majority were for Kamille Villanueva.

Me mehn, ME. I know it was just for FUN and that was the funniest crap ever. I couldn't help myself! I kept on laughing boisterously the whole time I was receiving my award. I can not imagine what were on the minds of the people (the 51%) who voted for me. What the hell were they thinking?! I don't know if they wanted me to make a fool of myself or to put me to shame or if it was just for fun - plain clean fun. No offense meant. Haha. But whatever it was, YOU GUYS made my night. Okay, go on. =)

I'll try to post more pictures from last Wednesday and Thursday (V-Day) next time. I need to copy Bam's soft copies pa. Okay? Go.

P.S. Thank YOU for sending me this last 021408.
P.P.S. Thanks to LBC, for making great things possible. Haha. :p

♥♥♥ Hang in there, terriyaki boy. ♥♥♥

Take It Slow.

I need to get up early tomorrow to attend our college service and effing breakfast at 7AM. Fnck. I have to because I do not want to pay the effing FINES! Ack. I can't understand why some colleges fine the students just because they can't attend a 'school event' or something alike. Who would want to attend a very lame event in the first place?! What would you feel if a lot if students attend a certain event just because ATTENDANCE WILL BE CHECKED and a fine of 100 bucks if students will miss it. Think about the events that you require attendance, people. My advice: MAKE YOUR ACTIVITIES MORE EXCITING AND MEANINGFUL. Haha. Peace people. I just need to let this out. =)

Anyhoo, as I said, I need to go to school at 7 tomorrow. Then after the service, attend my Math class - which I suck! Then maybe attend my Accounting class. I still don't know with my other classmates yet. Because in our Accounting class, we all belong to the same college/department. So if they all choose to attend the effing activities of our college, then there will be no students in our Accounting class. And I do not want to be the 'class KJ', so lantawon ra ni ugma. =)

Tomorrow will be our Student's Night. As of now, I'm not going because I DO NOT WANT TO GO because I'm not sure if I still have friends to go with. Haha. Because because because. Ack! Some people are acting weird lately and I don't really care why. Go on with your lives guys, and act as if we never became close friends. People leave, I know. But how come everyone's leaving me all at once. This should have a reason. Ahh basta! I'm saying that I'm not going tomorrow night but I know, I just know, I'll be present in that effing Student's Night! :| Labo.

Haaay. I just hope the other coming events will be fun and meaningful. Haha. All I'm excited about the College Week Celebration is that we do not have major classes which means a big "HALLELUJAH" for me! Weeehhh! =)

O sige, I'll just try to update you guys on whatever miracle I will encounter tomorrow. Haha. Seriously, I'll try to update tomorrow, and the rest of the week. This is MY hell week. Fnck.

OMFG. I almost forgot, it's going to be the V-Day na. Haha. Nyek! Shoot me. Kill me. Bite me. Whatever. As if I care. Uhm. Actually, I do. Haha. Labo.

Ciao for now! Wish me more luck and more strength to go on with this messed-up life of mine. Yes, I need luck! Good luck, I mean. Life's been not-so-nice to me these past few days. Haha.

♪♪♪ I saw it coming around..
And so I just shook my head and walked away.. ♪♪♪

Empty Hours.

F*ck. Valentine's day is fast approaching. Ugh! It's a good thing next week is our college week. So meaning, I'll be busy on the 14th - The V (Vullshit) Day. Haha. Tss. Anyhoo, I'm a bit (just a bit) excited about our college week, because it only means one thing - NO CLASSES! Haha. But seriously, I hope it would turn out to be a BLAST. Aseh. Of course it would be! I'll be with my friends and we will ROCK the racking chair. LOL! Far out.

Hmp. What's up with me lately? Nothing much actually. It's just that I had a lot of 'school works' that were all due this week! Ack. A lot of things to do, so little time. Haha. But thank God, I accomplished everything. Yey! I'm improving, I know. Wait, am I?! =)

Well well well. Look at this piece of shit art I made for my effing Multimedia project.

Theme: Music and Art
Tools of the Trade: My imagination and Photoshop CS2
Models: Myself and some of my friends. Haha. Oh, and Nikka's piano too.

You may click the picture for a larger view.

I hope I can post more pictures next time. I'll try though. Hehe.

Time check: 3:48 AM. Haha. I'm an effing insomniac mehn! But Xander prefers to call me nocturnal. Whatever. I CAN'T SLEEP! I need to see a doctor. Seriously. Taking sleeping pills is not even working for me. And I'm too afraid to take more than the regular dose because I might be addicted to it, or worse, I might not wake up anymore. Tss. And another thing, I don't want to depend on sleeping pills. Grrrr. I will go through this. HELP!!!

♥♥♥ I can't believe I'm not worth fighting for.. ♥♥♥

As If.

Time check: 2:03 AM. I just came home from a friend's place. Actually, earlier this evening, I watched "Fiddler On The Roof" at the Luce Auditorium with Nikka and Ate Kim. It was great! The cast were all 'familiar faces', and there were some who I really personally know. Bravo! The play ended at around 11:30PM. Ate Kim dropped us here at home right after the play.

I had no plans tonight supposedly, but as soon as I stepped inside our house this evening, I received a text message from a friend asking me to go to his place. I had no ride so I asked him to pick me up instead. OBT around the city then off to his place. A few friends followed. Chika galore. Chibugan. We didn't drink! Swear. T'was plain bonding. Haha. Yeah, I know, it's kinda 'unusual' for us not to drink on a Friday night, but I guess we all missed those kind of bonding moments. You know those catching-up-stories type. It's great! We're all sober. Nice one guys! I think we should do it more often. Haha. =)

Things to do tomorrow:
1. Go to the hospital and visit KC's baby.
2. Make my programming assignment! Deadline: February 3.
3. Start making my photoshop project! Deadline: February 7.
4. Drop my laundry at the laundry shop. Duh.
5. Clean my room. Arrange my things.
6. Confirm this Sunday's "group study" at Yana's place.

..And a lot lot lot more things to do. And here I am, still surfing at 2:32AM! O sige, I'll get some sleep. At least I'll try to. Haha. =) F*ck this. Insomniac me. This is bad, I know! And it's not even getting better every night.


Photo taken last first/second week of January.
With the ladies of the family. Mom and Kyle's Mom: MISSING in ACTION. Haha.

♥♥♥ I miss my terriyaki boy. ='( ♥♥♥