Grabe. School has been very demanding ever since the semester started. I come home late every night because if its not about school matters, then it would be about social matters. Haha. You see, I also have to cope up with my social life. And it sucks because my social life is starting to compete with school stuff. But I know my priorities, so its all cool. =)
I'm blogging right now because I would like to apologize ahead of time because I will not be blogging as often as before anymore. Maybe twice a week will do, but I still don't know. But I promise to make singit the blogging stuff if I have time. Swear.
Ciao! 'Til next time.
The Rain Is A Friend.
I always have this thing for the rain. There's something in it that makes me feel good, and even myself can not explain why. For a couple of times, the rain has played an important role in my life. I always ask for the rain to pour if I need signs, and God knows why I do that.
Lately, I've been frequently asking for signs and at often times, the rain has cooperated well with what I wanted the results to be. I don't know, but there's something magical about the rain. The last time I asked for a sign, if it will rain then it would mean a "yes" and if not, it would mean a "no" obviously. I thought it would be very impossible to rain because it was summer then, it was in a middle of a very, very dry season. I wanted a "yes", but I was starting to lose hope because the sun was undeniably very hot that time. But later that day, it rained so hard. See? Life has it's little miracles.
Last Thursday night, I needed the rain. It wasn't so impossible to rain that night because the weather has finally crossed to the wet season, and the sky has been grumbling since earlier that night. I wanted the rain to pour so badly. Whatever the outcome is, I know one thing is for sure. Whether it's going to be something to be for the best, or for the worst.
And guess what?
It didn't rain.
And that made me realize one thing: No matter how you want something badly, if it isn't for you, it's never gonna be yours.
And asking for signs means one thing: Even if you already know that it's not meant to be, yet you still try your luck and you try to put fate on a test.
Lately, I've been frequently asking for signs and at often times, the rain has cooperated well with what I wanted the results to be. I don't know, but there's something magical about the rain. The last time I asked for a sign, if it will rain then it would mean a "yes" and if not, it would mean a "no" obviously. I thought it would be very impossible to rain because it was summer then, it was in a middle of a very, very dry season. I wanted a "yes", but I was starting to lose hope because the sun was undeniably very hot that time. But later that day, it rained so hard. See? Life has it's little miracles.
Last Thursday night, I needed the rain. It wasn't so impossible to rain that night because the weather has finally crossed to the wet season, and the sky has been grumbling since earlier that night. I wanted the rain to pour so badly. Whatever the outcome is, I know one thing is for sure. Whether it's going to be something to be for the best, or for the worst.
And guess what?
It didn't rain.
And that made me realize one thing: No matter how you want something badly, if it isn't for you, it's never gonna be yours.
And asking for signs means one thing: Even if you already know that it's not meant to be, yet you still try your luck and you try to put fate on a test.
Reality Has Finally Made The Slap.
I was staring at the white screen. Words started to jumble around and each word my professor was saying became louder and louder to my ears.
I was on my Discrete Structures class this afternoon when I realized that I am really back to reality. Classes have really started and so, I have to concentrate now. Assignments, exams, reports, projects, meetings, and the list continues. Wah!
I wouldn't be shy to admit that I am a struggling student.
I accept the fact that I do not top the examinations, but my marks are high enough. My projects aren't always the best, but most of the time, they're the most unique. My reports aren't as bongga as others' who use high-budgeted visual aids, because I've always believed that good reports come from good reporters and not from the colorful visual aids. [I guess it's a matter of how you deliver your report, don't you think?] I have no reason to be very confident when it comes to my studies. I know just how far I can get. =)
There's no turning back, because here I am, trapped and continually crossing my fingers for another successful semester.
P.S. I'm on my third year of being on the year-level council. =)
P.P.S. Urbandub is coming on Saturday for the Muziklaban, and am like "Ohmeyged!".
P.P.P.S. I hate to accept the fact that I'm going to miss Manang Jo. Haha.
P.P.P.P.S. Game 4 tomorrow! Make me proud, Lakers! LOL.
P.P.P.P.P.S. K or I? <--What the?!
I was on my Discrete Structures class this afternoon when I realized that I am really back to reality. Classes have really started and so, I have to concentrate now. Assignments, exams, reports, projects, meetings, and the list continues. Wah!
I wouldn't be shy to admit that I am a struggling student.
I accept the fact that I do not top the examinations, but my marks are high enough. My projects aren't always the best, but most of the time, they're the most unique. My reports aren't as bongga as others' who use high-budgeted visual aids, because I've always believed that good reports come from good reporters and not from the colorful visual aids. [I guess it's a matter of how you deliver your report, don't you think?] I have no reason to be very confident when it comes to my studies. I know just how far I can get. =)
There's no turning back, because here I am, trapped and continually crossing my fingers for another successful semester.
P.S. I'm on my third year of being on the year-level council. =)
P.P.S. Urbandub is coming on Saturday for the Muziklaban, and am like "Ohmeyged!".
P.P.P.S. I hate to accept the fact that I'm going to miss Manang Jo. Haha.
P.P.P.P.S. Game 4 tomorrow! Make me proud, Lakers! LOL.
P.P.P.P.P.S. K or I? <--What the?!
2 - 1.
It's kinda weird that every start of the school year, I get sick.
It started last June of 2006, I was on my second year in college but on my first year at Silliman University. I was hospitalized a few days before the first semester started due to upper respiratory track infection, dengue, AND measles. Imagine how ill I was then. Haha. And to cut the long story short, I missed the first three day of classes.
Then before the second semester of that same school year, I had trangkaso. Then the next school year, I had fever. Then on the second sem, I had very high fever due to my swollen tonsils. And guess what? This school year, [drum roll please] I got sick again! Woooh! Great. What a very nice experience to start a semester right?
My tonsils are swollen again and I have colds too - which made me skip the first day of classes. But I felt better this morning so I took a shower and got ready for school. Haha. But I changed my mind. I watched Game 3 of the NBA Play-Offs, instead of going to school for my Physics class. Okay, that's another story. Haha! But Lakers won! Woohoo!
I went to school this afternoon na. And oh, we didn't have a class in Physics daw, so it's all good!
Positive energy for a new semester! Come on. =)
It started last June of 2006, I was on my second year in college but on my first year at Silliman University. I was hospitalized a few days before the first semester started due to upper respiratory track infection, dengue, AND measles. Imagine how ill I was then. Haha. And to cut the long story short, I missed the first three day of classes.
Then before the second semester of that same school year, I had trangkaso. Then the next school year, I had fever. Then on the second sem, I had very high fever due to my swollen tonsils. And guess what? This school year, [drum roll please] I got sick again! Woooh! Great. What a very nice experience to start a semester right?
My tonsils are swollen again and I have colds too - which made me skip the first day of classes. But I felt better this morning so I took a shower and got ready for school. Haha. But I changed my mind. I watched Game 3 of the NBA Play-Offs, instead of going to school for my Physics class. Okay, that's another story. Haha! But Lakers won! Woohoo!
I went to school this afternoon na. And oh, we didn't have a class in Physics daw, so it's all good!
Positive energy for a new semester! Come on. =)
I'm No Superstar.
I wouldn't deny the fact that I am often compared to someone else. That I am often known as the "the grandchild of..", "the daughter of..", "the cousin of..", "the niece of..", and worse: "the friend of..". I couldn't blame them. I am no superstar.
Searching for an 'identity' is like hell to me. Mom, and everyone else, wanted me to take up N before, but I told her that N isn't really my thing, and because I didn't want to give everyone the chance to compare me with my cousin who was a consistent honor student in N. Though I wanted to give N a try, I just did not because I didn't want to take the risk.
I remember before, everyone was telling me to try out sports because I didn't have one. So I tried S, B, and T that time, but I got more interested on T. I'm not good at it, but I know the basics. But I felt pressured because my other cousin was a regional T player. So I stopped because I didn't want to be compared to her skills. I just thought, maybe T isn't for me.
During family reunions, more often than not, I would always be addressed as the "granddaughter of.." or "the daughter of..". Far relatives do not know my first name, sad to say. And worse, they wouldn't even bother to ask me, or even talk to me. I bet they couldn't find any interesting spark in me, maybe that's why they do not bother to know me better. And so do I, because I know there's nothing special about me and I do not want them to compare me to others. But in the end, I still get compared to them because they made friends with other relatives and I didn't.
I didn't know where to put myself. My insecurities were eating me up and I wasn't able handle them well, that's why maybe I'm like this. I know I can never be categorized as the best, but I'm pretty sure I do not belong to the losers' zone. I am somewhere in the middle. Or so I thought?
I took up IT because I thought it's something different. It's something that my family isn't an expert of. I want to be different from them. I want to have my own identity. I know I haven't achieved anything yet, but at least, I am trying to find the right craft that I would excel in.
I'm still waiting for the right moment for me to proudly sing David Cook's "The Time Of My Life". Haha.
Searching for an 'identity' is like hell to me. Mom, and everyone else, wanted me to take up N before, but I told her that N isn't really my thing, and because I didn't want to give everyone the chance to compare me with my cousin who was a consistent honor student in N. Though I wanted to give N a try, I just did not because I didn't want to take the risk.
I remember before, everyone was telling me to try out sports because I didn't have one. So I tried S, B, and T that time, but I got more interested on T. I'm not good at it, but I know the basics. But I felt pressured because my other cousin was a regional T player. So I stopped because I didn't want to be compared to her skills. I just thought, maybe T isn't for me.
During family reunions, more often than not, I would always be addressed as the "granddaughter of.." or "the daughter of..". Far relatives do not know my first name, sad to say. And worse, they wouldn't even bother to ask me, or even talk to me. I bet they couldn't find any interesting spark in me, maybe that's why they do not bother to know me better. And so do I, because I know there's nothing special about me and I do not want them to compare me to others. But in the end, I still get compared to them because they made friends with other relatives and I didn't.
I didn't know where to put myself. My insecurities were eating me up and I wasn't able handle them well, that's why maybe I'm like this. I know I can never be categorized as the best, but I'm pretty sure I do not belong to the losers' zone. I am somewhere in the middle. Or so I thought?
I took up IT because I thought it's something different. It's something that my family isn't an expert of. I want to be different from them. I want to have my own identity. I know I haven't achieved anything yet, but at least, I am trying to find the right craft that I would excel in.
I'm still waiting for the right moment for me to proudly sing David Cook's "The Time Of My Life". Haha.
"And I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time
To be more than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life"
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time
To be more than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life"
