Forget. Forgot. Forgotten.

Right now, I am somewhere between convincing myself to stop this feelings I have and hang on to that damn hope. Hoping that maybe everything will be fine. Fine in a sense that no more tears will be flowing and no more red flags posted on our foreheads. But I know that's now too impossible to happen. Those months were enough for me to realize that we are two different people. I admit, our countless divergences have become the main factor of this chaotic link we have now and everything else just followed.

I should make a choice soon. A choice between to hold on or to simply let go. Should I let go? Indeed, I'm in a dilemma. It's just like I'm letting go of the most precious thing I've always wanted to have. But I know that this will never work out anymore. Sooner or later, there will be no more third-person reference.

Honestly, I don't wanna end up like the others. Hopeless, devastated and desperate. That's why I am taking things slowly. Eventually, I know I'll forget everything about this. Forget. Forgot. Forgotten. I hope it's as easy as it sounds. But sad to say, i know it's not. I've been through this before and here I am now, undergoing the exact same process - trying to forget it.

It's hard, I know. That is why I'm doing something about it. I'm now trying to do things on my own because I don't wanna make things hard for me when the time comes. But I know I'm good at this. Not the forgetting but the trying-to-accept-the-fact that I am mature enough to understand that some things are just not meant for me. I must also accept the fact that aside from our countless differences, we had one similarity and that is 'pride'. We both had extremely high ones of it.

So I guess I have to make a choice now. It's gonna be now or never.

Yes, it will hurt. Sure thing. But being hurt is not something new for me. I know i'll get over this and move on again. Forgetting is a process and so is moving on. I just don't know how long it will take but surely, I'll get there.


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