Open Letter.

Remember the time I told you that it's going to be okay and that everything will turn out fine?

Well, I was lying.

Forgive me for, maybe, giving you false hints, but that was all I could do. I had to lie, if it meant comforting you and making you feel better. I've been where you are, and God, I know how painful it exactly felt. I know sweet words aren't really enough to at least ease the pain, but it really does help. A bit, though.

You asked me if you had a choice. I told you to either cling to that damn hope of you two getting back together, or just move on with your life and deal with the fact that it's just up to there. You smiled and it was obvious that you opted the first one I suggested. But honestly, you really don't have a choice but to let go. It's bleak, I know, but I guess you just have to deal with reality.

It's really foolish to keep hoping that there's another chance, cause we all know how clear it is that this is really where it's at. I know you are much more willing to take the risk and even if you'd have to take all the shots, I know you'd take them wholeheartedly. Because above all your shortcomings and all else, you want her back. Period.

But she wants time and space for herself. And you can't force that.

Because You Are.

Why’d he have to be so unbreakable?

Sometimes you think he’s slowly letting you in on his life, his secrets, his thoughts, and even the seemingly most "senseless" things he has to say. But predictable he is, he’ll shut you off. Not the tackless, rude, sudden "let’s-not-talk-about-it-anymore type of ‘brush off’" but the polite, almost subtle, and humorous kind which makes it hard for you to be outraged and frustrated.

There is such a thing as personal space anyway. I dare not probe and poke and prod or whatever. So I respect people’s privacy. BUT arrrgghhhh… why can’t I just probe and poke and prod or whatever?

He’s like a rock.

A ROCK.

They’re common but innately unique. They’re solid but you know at one point, they’ll break into pieces. They’re so there, so magnificent, so visible but sometimes unreachable.

A PARADOX. Unfathomable.

He’s unbreakable.

And I’m just standing here. Wishing I were unbreakable too. Wishing most selfishly he’ll break down in the most human, most real, most unarming way possible. He’s human.

But perhaps, I’m not the one to make him realize that he can’t live like the world’s going to hurt him or break him into pieces. That’s his own lesson to learn. Where has he been anyway? The world’s out to get everyone. I want to be the one who’ll make him realize that yes, it’s a big bad world, but trying not to be a part of it isn’t helping. And maybe if he bled a little he’d realize that hurt and pain is part of who are, like the blood that runs through our veins. Goodness! Not making any sense am I?

But there. Mr. Unbreakable, I’m hoping that maybe someday if I’m not too tired of waiting, you’ll get back to me sans those walls of yours.
 

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