There She Goes Again.

The celebration is finally over.

Let this post be a personal rant, because I still can't get over with two things!

First offs, Cheering. How dare them agree to break the tradition about the 'Squad'. Honestly, if I knew it would be that pathetic, I would have stayed at home and sleep. If it just weren't for RJ, Yana, Chino, Ricky, Kenneth, and Neel, I could've left the show and went home. It was the lamest ever! The hosts, please! It was a show, and they could have, at least, gotten people who could actually host! And not to mention the results, I honestly think that the College of Engineering and Design deserved something better than being the second runner-up only. Tss.

Second, the Miss Silliman. My God, please! What ever happened to the "Miss Silliman should be embodied by someone who has the brain and beauty"? Okay, nuf said.

React if you like. Kill me for this if you wish. I don't care because I know you'll say, "You don't know because you're not a part of the organizing committee and you have no idea how hard it's like to blah blah blah blah blah". And I'll tell you, "Back off because you don't even know how it feels like to be me, how every nanometer of pain I am feeling right now! It's not enough that you love me for who I am, you should also love me for what I'm not. So please, get a life!".

O di ba, far out.

I'd Rather Not.

Why am I making this trip a big deal?

You see, you won't even notice I'm gone. And as if I'm not coming back!

Pesteh. Puh-lease!


I've already booked myself a two-way flight, so I guess I'm finally going(?). This is going to be very exciting because I'll be alone - travel alone, live alone, go to places alone. Hala, can I do this?

I could still remember that, once, I had this "dream" of living in ******. Imagine the parties every night, the malls, the everything-that's-not-in-Dooms. But when I matured a bit, I think it's more than what I used to believe what ****** is all about. I think what's most important is the experience and the exposure.

I remember myself inquiring online at this prestigious school in ******, and filling up their application form for transferees. But I never had the chance to pass my form because... wala. Maybe it wasn't just for me, I thought. But if I just had the confidence and the will power, my life could have been much better. I could have learned how to be independent. My life could have been much much much more different than my messed-up life right now.

But this is it! I'm finally doing something I think is best for me. I'm finally pushing through my plans step-by-step. I'm finally going, not because I want to experience how it is like to party in ******, not because I want to go shopping, and surely not because I want to escape the fudge-up situations here in Dooms. I am going because I want to learn, I want to be exposed, and I want to experience how it is like to be independent for a few days.

I know my life won't change because of this, but this could definitely be the start.

So here's to September 6, 2008! Cheers! =)


I won't care anymore if some people will get affected with my posts because I don't have time to deal with pea-sized-brain people. But nonetheless, I still have to be more careful on what I will blog about. I'm still learning how to blog safely. Safely as in, not spilling too much information and/or emotions because a paragraph of entry could lead to an i'm-not-speaking-with you-anymore situation. Please, to what use did I open a blog for? As my blog description goes, "I Blog To Express, And Not To Impress". You see, there's a thin line between "blogging to express" and "blogging to impress". I'm writing this because instead of expressing what I honestly feel, I would rather hold back because I still have to think on how others' might think. Wala nalang unta ko nag-blog kung dili ra pud diay nako masulat akong ganahan masulat.

Fine, if people do not like what I'm writing here in my blog, then no one is stopping them to click the red button at the upper right corner of their browser, right? Simple, dumbass.


Okay, enough of that.

I know it's been quite sometime that I have not really updated on what's really happening with my life lately, and I bet you already know the reason why (If you're a 'wise' reader). School's been a bitch lately, and I have been too with school. And since midterms are over, then it's now time for me to "double time".

Classes are resuming on September 1, since it is our University's foundation day on the 28th, and activities are starting to boil up tomorrow. Open house. Torch parade. Hibalag (booth area). Miss Silliman. Parada Sillimaniana. Cheering competition. Whoa, same-same. Nothing new, as usual. But still, they're still something to look forward to. It's what every Sillimanian is getting excited for every August. Tss.

By the way, I died during my Physics exam this morning. And I know I'll die again when I get my testpaper back.

Please Get A Life. Puh-lease!

There's a lot to blog about right now.
But I can't because some people are making everything a big deal. Kapoy na.

Please don't make me shut this blog down because you have no idea how hard it is to start all over again.

Please Pray After Reading This.

The other week, I was browsing through my fone's calendar and took note of some friends' coming birthday.

August 6. Tara Santelices. Someone I met way way before. I checked my fonebook, and I still have her number.

I was really planning to greet her on her birthday because we haven't communicated for quite a while. It would be a good start for a conversation, I thought. I will, hopefully, be going to Manila next month for the convention, and I was planning to meet up with her, since I can't remember anymore the last time we saw each other.

August 5. I was busy the whole day, because my classes ended at 7PM. I forgot about Tara's birthday.

August 6. Tara's birthday. I forgot to greet her in the morning, and so I planned to greet her in the evening instead. Afternoon, at around 3PM, I got a text from a common friend saying that Tara was shot by some evil person at around 1 in the morning and that Tara needs all our prayers. I couldn't describe what I was feeling that time.

She was shot on her birthday? How? Why? What exactly happened? I texted back and asked the details.

According to my friend, the jeep Tara and her bestfriend were riding on their way home was held-up and when Tara refused to give her bag with her laptop inside, the evil man shot her IN THE HEAD. She's in critical condition.

God, please. I hate situations like this. I hate the feeling when I know someone is fighting for his/her life. I just hate it, specially when he/she is innocent.

Tara has always been in my prayers since that day I received the text message. I couldn't contact anyone close to her right now. I don't know anyone of her family, her inner circle, her classmates. Wala. It's sad to know that I can not visit her in the hospital either.

I can only pray for her. That's all I can do, and I know that's all Tara and her family needs right now.

I was doing my rounds this evening and I saw this from Saab's blog. I didn't know she knows Tara too.

Please read this, and you'll realize how evil some people around us are.

This entry was taken from the blog of Ms. Lacsamana, a Filipino teacher from Assumption Antipolo. I got goosebumps when I read the last part. :( Btw, I don’t know Tara personally but her sister was my friend from gradeschool. Let’s continue our prayers.

“Kararating ko lang galing Medical City. Dinalaw namin at ipinagdasal si Tara. Kasama ko sina Sir Louie Lorenzo, Sir Lito Jimenez, Ms. Taks Clarete, Ms Ettie Miranda at Ms. Rorie Francisco.

Halos mapuno ang pasilyo ng ospital dahil sa mga nakapilang mga tao na nais makita si Tara. Nagtataka ang ilang nars dahil ang daming bisita ni Tara. Di nakatiis ang isang nars at nagtanong kung kaanu-ano namin si Tara. Sabi namin ” dati naming estudyante.” Ang sagot ng aming kausap ay ” ang dami niyang bisita hanggang kahapon.” Isang matipid na ngiti at sabay sabing ” oo, dahil marami ang nagmamahal kay Tara.”

Niyakap kami ni Lila, ang kapatid ni Tara na naging estudyante rin namin. Pinauna kami na makapasok sa ICU upang tingnan si Tara. Dala-dalawa lang ang maaaring makapasok sa ICU at sa labas lamang ng kuwarto na may salamin mo makikita si Tara. Sa ganoong sitwasyon sari-saring emosyon ang iyong mararamdaman. Mahirap at masakit sa loob na makita ang dati mong estudyante sa ganoong kalagayan. Halos maga na ang kanyang ulo na may benda. Malakas ang kanyang paghinga sa tulong ng respirator. Halos nakalabas ang itim na bahagi ng mata dahil na rin sa bala ng baril na nasa kanyang utak. Kausap namin ang kanyang ina at isinalaysay ang tunay na nangyari. 10% lang ang tsansa kung maooperahan siya. Ang bala ng baril ay “double action.” Ibig sabihin nito ay maliliit na bahagi ng bala ay nakakalat sa kanyang utak. Mahirap at maselan ang operasyon dahil iisa-isahing tanggalin ang maliit na bahagi ng bala.

Nagpakilala ako sa kanyang ina at sinabi ko na ako ang teacher-in-charge (IV-3 batch 2003) ni Tara. Tinanong ko siya kung ano ba talaga ang nangyari. Iba kasi ang mga naglalabasang balita.

Siya namang dating ni Joee, bestfriend ni Tara. Isinalaysay ni Joee ang tunay na nangyari. Birthday ni Tara ng Agosto 6. Nag-text sa kanya si Tara na magkita sa “Burger King” sa Marcos Highway. Galing pa si Joee sa CSB, Taft Ave. Napagkasunduan nilang hintayin ang 12:00 ng madaling araw upang ipagdiwang ang 23 kaarawan ni Tara. Matapos ang 12:00 ng madaling araw ay sumakay sila ng dyip pauwi ng Cainta, Rizal. Sila lang ang sakay ng dyip. Pahinto-hinto ang dyip upang magsakay ng pasahero. Hanggang may isang lalaki na sumakay sa dyip na umupo sa tabi ni Tara sa bandang hulihan. Pababa ang lalaki ng agawin ang bag ni Tara. Naghatakan sila sa bag. Nakarinig na lang ng putok si Joee na nakaupo sa tabi ni Tara. Nang tingnan niya si Tara, ito pala ang nabaril at sa ulo mismo. Sinabi ni Joee sa driver na dalhin sila sa malapit na ospital. Bago pa sila makarating sa malapit na klinika ay binaba pa isa-isa ang mga pasahero. Halos isang oras bago sila nakarating. Pagkahatid sa klinika ay iniwan na sila ng drayber. Tinanggihan ng klinika na tanggapin si Tara dahil hindi nila kayang gamutin. Naghintay pa si Joee ng mahabang sandali upang tulungan sila ng mga nars na tumawag ng taxi at dalhin sa Eulogio “Amang ” Rodriguez Hospital si Tara. Isipin na lang na 5’ 2 ang taas ni Joee at siya pa ang nagbuhat kay Tara. Di na makausap ni Joee si Tara nang nasa EAR hospital. Tinawagan niya ang mga magulang ni Tara at kanyang mga magulang upang ipaalam ang mga pangyayari.

Nakalulungkot isipin na buhay na ang nakabingit ay parang walang pakialam ang mga pasahero ng dyip na nagpababa pa sa kani-kanilang destinasyon. Ikalawa, kung di pa sumigaw si Joee upang magpatulong sa mga nars sa klinika na kanilang napuntahan na tumawag ng taksi upang dalhin sa pinakamalapit na ospital ay di pa kikilos. Siya pa ang nagbuhat kay Tara upang isakay sa taksi.

Medyo masakit at sariwa pa kay Joee ang mga pangyayari kaya di na kami nagtanong pa. Pumunta kami sa waiting area at nakita namin ang ama ni Tara. Tinawag namin ang mga kaibigan, kaklase at mga mahal sa buhay ni Tara upang manalangin. Sa pangunguna ni Ms. Taks Clarete ay ipinagdasal namin si Tara.

Pagkatapos ng limang (5) taon ay nagkita-kita kami ng aking mga dating mag-aaral at TIC class. Nakalulungkot ang sabi ng isang mag-aaral: "Ms, dito pa tayo nag-reunion.”

Sabi ko sa ilang mga dati kong estudyante na noong Agosto 1, bigla na lang sumulpot si Tara sa facebook at humihiling na i-add ko siya. Nang mabalitaan ko ang nangyari sa kanya ay tiningnan ko ang kanyang facebook profile. Sinulatan ko siya sa kanyang ‘wall’ dahil kaarawan niya. Di ko alam kung ano ang ibig niyang sabihin sa kanyang “recent activity” na nakasulat sa facebook: "Tara Bosch Santelices is chasing analog ghosts.” Ikinuwento ko sa kanila na para siyang may premonisyon. Ang sagot ng ilan ay: “Miss, sa kanyang YM ay kanyang isinulat: “bullet through my head.”

Para sa iyo Tara, nandito kami …. nanalangin at nagbabantay sa iyong paggaling.”

It did as well, gave me goosebumps.

Get well soon Tar. I'll pray as hard as I can for you. I'll see you soon.

Happy 101st.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrow. The only thing I hate about it, is that I have to wear a semi-formal attire. And that means shoes.

But whatever it takes, I'm going for it. Wish me luck -- goodluck. =)

At Least.

Can you be my miracle?

Let my world be a better place to live in. Please.

GTH, Miss.

Contrary to what Dumaguete City is tagged as, "The City of Gentle People", I just found out that some people here won't go an extra mile to help others simply because they don't want to.

A few weeks ago, me and my cousin, Kim, went around the city to check on the shipping fees of different couriers here in Dooms. We were starting our business then, and we had to post the corresponding shipping fees for each region in the PI so it wouldn't be much of a hassle to our customers, of course.

And so, first stop, Air21. Their small office is located at the ground floor of the Ultra Vision Building.

We arrived there a little over 5PM, 5:05 perhaps. The office was already closed, but the door was still unlocked. We went inside thinking that we would be entertained since we won't be shipping anything. We were just there to ask for the rates, that's all. But the receptionist seemed to be annoyed by our presence and told us that she has no idea about the rates because she isn't the one assigned. "Igo ra man ko tig type", were her exact words.

Ok fine. So off we go. We can't blame her if she's only hired to do the typing. If that's her only job, then fine. But my point is, she could've told us the range or perhaps, she could've given us the estimated rate. Or maybe, she could've told us to wait for a while because she'll try to check it out first or something. The crap part is, with out thinking twice and with out hesitations, she told us right away that she couldn't help us. Or I think, she DIDN'T want to help us.

Then this afternoon, we had to ship some Kimonos to a customer in Misamis, which is, by the way, our second shipping so far. To my surprise, the girl who refused to help us because "tig type lang siya", was the one who 'entertained' us and everything. Hmmmm. So you're only hired to type, huh? And worse, she knew how to rate the package because they had this book where all the rates are listed.

I wanted to kick her face right there and then.

Just For Now.

I feel so sorry for my blog. But I need to do this. ='(

I wanna cry. I am so desperate.

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