Calling All Humans: Please Return To Planet Earth.

Is it just me or am I really acting weird lately?

What the hell happened to me? Where is the "bubbly" side of me? The "go-with-the-flow" girl that everyone knew? The person who tells her friends to think before speaking. The careless free-soul who was loved by everyone?

This started last night. I was texting with a friend and after some 'sarcastic' replies, he said: "Where are you?". Then I, not being aware how sarcastic I was, replied to him: "Here. Ikaw? I bet you're there." Tss. See how lame I was?! Then he replied: "Whatever happened to you, let me tell you that you're transformation didn't do you any good. You were cool, and now you're pushing everyone away from you."

Okay. That hit me hard. Bullseye! Am I really pushing everyone away from me? Siguro nga, I am pushing them away from me unconciously. But don't you think I'm pushing myself away from them instead? Has it ever crossed your mind that it's me myself who's setting the gap, or something? Okay, so maybe not.

Before I went to sleep last night, there were a lot of scenes from the past weeks that came rushing through my mind. Lately, my friends would often tell me "Others na man gud ka..". Then I remembered Mark texting me "Ikaw pa ni Kaams? Murag lain na man akong ka-text.". Then there was this time Chris told me "Huy, na-unsa na man ka? Far-out na kaayo ka". Then on that same conversation with Chris, Pao interrupted, "Bitaw. Hello?! Are we even living on the same planet?".

And just yesterday, I was already in school for Nessa's [Miss Silliman] photoshoot, stayed for a while then I went outside the campus. I saw Yana and told her that I'll just buy load at the store across the CC, but I never went back. I rode a cab and my destination was nowhere. I didn't know where exactly to go, but I'm pretty sure I didn't want to stay for the photoshoot. See how lame and pathetic I am?!

This morning, we had the Physics Olympics at a beach house in Bacong. We were grouped in threes and luckily, my groupmates were people I know. One was a good friend, Leon, then the other was an IT major - a shiftee, so I do not really know him that much. We were under the 'bridge-building' category, so obviously, we made a 'bridge' out of the sand. At 10:30 in the morning, the sun was extremely hot! But sige, we had to do it because if we won't, we won't be earning points which is the main reason for the Physics Olympics. I tried my best to cooperate at first but, gah! I started to move at the shady part and found myself telling my groupmates to do this and that without even helping them making hukay the sand. I know I'm lazy but I'm not like that before. I am very competitive and I always give my best in competitions, but I was a total jerk this morning. I think my groupmates were kinda pissed off with me, but they were too kind not to show that to me. Sorry guys, it won't happen again. Promise. I'll personally apologize and explain tomorrow.

So maybe I'm 'lost' right now. Is this what you call 'personality crisis', or is there such thing?

Come on. I miss being me. Period.

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